Gaslighting

Written by Crytal Yeager

Gaslighting is a newer term developed to identify and describe a form of minimizing another person’s viewpoint, taking over the conversation, or using manipulation over another person.

Gaslighting is defined as: According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of gaslighting is “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage.” Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and type of abuse that makes a person question their own reasoning and sanity” (Merriam-Webster, 2023).

Psychology Today defines Gaslighting as “Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth” (Psychology Today, 2023).

Gaslighting can be seen in both personal and professional relationships. In a personal relationship, such as in a dating or married relationship, gaslighting could look like one partner is assuming or confident that the other partner is being unfaithful, brings it up to their partner, and the other partner tell the initial partner they are crazy, or are seeing/believing things that are not really happening. The unfaithful partner might even try to deflect or redirect the suspecting partner, as an additional form of gaslighting.

In a work setting, an example of Gaslighting could look like when a co-worker or supervisor asks questions about you, under the guise of wanting to get to know you, but then uses this information against you at a later time, for their own benefit or to make themselves look better, and you look worse. An additional example of Gaslighting in the workplace could be when you are fearful that you will be terminated from work, you have a meeting with your supervisor, who ensures you that you are safe, then not long after you are in fact terminated. Gaslighting can also be seen as someone giving you a false sense of security to either pacify the situation or gain/benefit from the ending result.

To address Gaslighting it is important to complete a self-assessment of your comprehension ability and review the facts that led you to the initial conclusion. You can also speak with your therapist about these feelings and weigh the third-party perspective. Additionally, it will be important to set adequate boundaries with the person you feel is trying to Gaslight you, then stand your ground against this person, to protect yourself and also give yourself the satisfaction that you are of sound mind and are standing by your boundaries.

References:

Merriam-Webster (Ed.). (2022). Gaslighting definition & meaning. Merriam-Webster - Gaslighting.

Psychology Today (Ed.). (2023). Gaslighting. Psychology Today.